Friday, July 27, 2007

What are they teaching my kid!?!?

Okay, I have been letting a few things slide at my daughter's daycare...but I am finally to a point where I need to put my foot down. Sometimes, we as parents must understand that we have to take responsibility in how we raise our kids. I often see too many parents who let school, daycare, and church raise their children. I don't want to be like that...instead I want to take charge in what I am teaching my child and not let others contradict the things I am trying to accomplish.

A few weeks ago LT's daycare teacher thought it was so cute that LT was kissing a boy in class and that the boy kissed her back. At first I thought, "oh that is cute too" but then it started to get out of hand. When I would pick her up they would say, "oh watch this..." and instruct LT to kiss the boy whom she was fond of. When I pick up LT, I am always given a sheet that shows what she has been doing all day. One day, I arrived and grabbed her sheet off the wall and noticed a picture of her and the boy kissing attached to the boy's sheet. I asked about it and they replied "oh the boy's father thought it was cute and wanted a copy of it". I wasn't so sure I was pleased that my daycare was taking pictures of two kids kissing and i wasn't pleased that the parents of the boy were requesting it. Am I going too far on this? Am I am being completely paranoid and out of mind? I am not sure, please leave any comments on your thoughts. I just don't think I find it acceptable to encourage this kind of activity. We teach LT to only kiss mom, dad, and family. It seems to me with this kind of encouragement, I can start to understand why 10 years olds are having sex and getting pregnant at age 11.

Now, onto my most recent complaint. The same boy that LT is fond of has a bigger vocabulary than she does. So the daycare has reported she is trying to learn all the words that he is learning. They noted on her daily sheet yesterday that "her vocabulary is getting so big now!". When I addressed this comment to see what words she is growing to say, one of them was "mine". I have heard LT say this several times at home, and we knew she got it at daycare, but have been trying to correct her. So when I found out they are promoting her saying that, it kinda upset me. We are trying to teach our daughter that nothing is ours...everything comes from God and we are to take care of everything and share with everyone. I am promoting sharing because I know that when baby #2 comes, this is going to be a big issue with her. Not to mention the fact that "mine" is a selfish derogatory word. Why would anyone allow there child to even let that be one of the words in their vocabulary? I know I am not over-reacting on this point because this is the way we want to raise our daughter. And what is more annoying than a kid who walks around all day repeating a brainless word "mine, mine, mine, mine!" and then doesn't share with others.

So I am not one to approach conflict, I would rather vent about it in my blog...LOL. But something needs to be done about the behaviors my child is learning at school. I know there will be an ongoing struggle throughout her entire childhood. But how can people think that kissing and being selfish is "cute"? I just don't see the connection? Maybe it is because she is so cute that they are blind to the repercussions of the problem.

As I mentioned earlier, if you have any suggestions or comments on how to handle this or even your thoughts on the would make me feel alot better to know what others thought.

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Blogger Vivian said...

Oh my GOSH!!! Okay - I've only read half of this post - but I wanted to post right away! I TOTALLY would be soo against that!! I mean, yah, the kissing is cute and all - but I personally wouldn't be very happy if the school was promoting it AND ESPECIALLY them taking pictures of them kissing!! I know some people might find that like cute but without your permission and I dunno.. it's just kinda creepy... gives me the heeby-jeebies. Maybe I've watched one too "to catch a predator" (haw - I've only seen one) but seriously - they have some disturbed people on there... who are like school bus drivers!! I dunno... I think it's cute that she liked another boy that she gave him a kiss and stuff - but the promoting and the pictures just makes me feel yech... alright.. back to the reading...

2:06 AM

Blogger Vivian said...

Yikes!!! Yeah, I would definitely be concerned if she started using that phrase a lot ("mine" - eehh... don't let her watch finding nemo any time soon ;)) - I mean, we can't really always be there to shield kids from what they hear or see, since life is happening all around but yah I think what you are doing is right. It's like she is going to learn things from her surroundings ... and she is going learn things from you. I think you are definitely going the right way - like teaching LT other words and praising her when she tries to say those and letting her know that words like "mine" is not the way to go, and just letting her know what's right and wrong - like you are!
I dunno - I might even tell the ladies at the school and be like, I love that LT is learning so much here, but I was wondering if you could watch out for her for when she says the phrase "mine", to not praise her - but praise her for other good things that she is trying to say.. since we don't really like to use that word in our family... or something.
So neat tho still - she's like a sponge.. she's learning sooo fast!!!

2:21 AM

Blogger marii said...

Yea, I thought it was pretty weird about the pictures too because I would have never known they were taking the pictures if i hadn't seen them on the other guy's sheet. Nobody told me that they were taking pictures of LT...and I'm the mother of the kid!
Yay, I am glad that you agree with all that I am saying and that I am not over-reacting. I think I will discuss it, in the meantime I am shopping around for another daycare. It is very bad here in Austin...and to think I am having another baby soon so I want to make sure I find a good place for both of them!

9:21 PM

Blogger Lesli said...

As far as the kissing thing goes, I would talk to the daycare provider and ask her not to encourage it. If your daycare provider doesn't respect your requests, then maybe it's not the right place for your daughter.

Now as far as the "mine" issue, every child goes through this stage, I tried to get around it, but my son did the same thing. I let my son know that it is his, but we need to share. It's something to do with their independence stage. I would just work on the sharing thing. Mine will soon fade away. Don't worry, your child is not the only one that says that. I can understand the frustration.

11:26 AM

Blogger marii said...

thanks, I really appreciate your thoughts. Yea, I am afraid there is nothing I can do about the mine thing. I did speak to my daycare teachers today and asked them to encourage her saying "please" instead of mine (since she is only using it as means to get something she wants)...kinda like Finding Nemo (haha vivian). When I brought it up to them, one of them looked at me like "are you kidding me?" but the other one was very understanding and agreed to help.

11:33 AM

Blogger sue said...

You don't have to worry about what one or more of the teachers think. Their job is to teach your daughter things that you are in agreement with: scholastics, sharing, development, etc. In elementary school, there is a parent's signature needed for use of any photos that may be taken of your child, and I feel strongly that photos should not be taken by the teachers merely for their own entertainment. And, yes, germs and bacteria ARE an issue in daycare and schools, and kissing should NOT be promoted. You need to speak to the daycare director, not the teachers. My opinion is that getting that close and affectionate to your school mates should be discouraged; mommy, daddy, grandparents, etc. should be the only receivers of of her sweet, somewhat slobbery kisses.

2:22 PM

Blogger Bobby said...

You need to tell these crazies at the daycare what you dont want your kid being taught! thats your right, you are paying them.!

Also... more than half your posts are about cupcakes, and thats cool and all, but im real hungry now. Annndddd you arent here to make me cupcakes anymore...

Not cool.

12:20 PM

Blogger marii said...

don't feel bad bobby...since I have been to Austin, I have only made one set of cupcakes....I am totally slacking!

2:03 PM

Blogger Aaron A. said...

Be concerned about it, deal with it, but don't make too big a deal out of it. Imho, a baby or child should not be kissing anyone when you or Eric are not present; therefore the daycare people are foolish to allow it, for so many reasons. For them to photograph it opens them up to all sorts of accusations and legal actions, so that isn't smart, especially since you are not there to consent to it.

With regard to the "mine" issue, Lauren is going to learn that no matter where she goes; that's just something you'll have to correct. My parents sent me to Christian schools and there were as many bad kids there to learn bad stuff from as there were in public schools.

10:07 PM

Blogger marii said...

so true!

11:56 AM


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